The Muse’s are opinionated folks. As much as I want to take credit for my wit and persistent self-assurance I’ve inherited it. So you can imagine what family dinners might be like at my house. Of course Thanksgiving continued the family tradition of heated political debates and social commentary when one of my family members, who is engaged to a woman with a young boy, mentioned that the word “gay” is not allowed to be said when the kid is around. Of course the mention of such blatant prejudice sent me brewing. Maybe I am an extreme leftist, but in my world, gay is simply an adjective sometimes used to describe the homosexual community. It doesn’t connote judgment and is a word often used in magazines, news reports, and even in the freakin dictionary. So to not use a word that a child is easily going to hear and use in his everyday life is a disservice to his intelligence and social development. And more importantly, wouldn’t you want to teach your child the meaning of a word that he can easily pick up from someone else and develop his own definition?
Of course my lecture then got deeper as my family member mentioned that the men in the family use the word “mo” short for “homo” when they are in the presence of a gay person when the child is around. They often interchange the word “funny” as in “we have a “funny” uncle. That just set me off. I was no longer going to be nice. The use of the words “mo” and “funny” are not only extremely prejudice and immoral but are even more damaging then the word gay. The belief and ideology behind both words are exactly what breeds homophobia as well as the incessant bullying and self-loathing of gay teens that is deeply affecting our country today.
My family member now upset that I would challenge his fiancé’s decision in raising her own child shouted that as a single woman without any children, I had no right to discuss someone else’s choice is raising their own child. Of course how a person decides to raise their child is their choice but I unfortunately am still entitled to my opinion.
People with children use the fact that someone doesn’t have a child as an argument against opinion and judgment. But the truth is the ability to have a child does not immediately make anyone an expert of child rearing while not having a child does not negate validity of belief. Just because I don’t have a child does not mean that I wouldn’t and can’t make decisions about raising one. Sure, someone with a child knows more about raising children that I do but my lack of being a mother doesn’t mean I can’t and won’t be a good mother.
My mother, an elementary school principal, playing devil’s advocate added that she has a difficult time with the word also. The district doesn’t allow her to teach students what gay means in retrospect to homosexuality because many parents believe the school shouldn’t teaching children about sexuality. But homosexuality exists. Just like heterosexuality does. Not teaching the word does not allow people to ignore the fact that people are born everyday liking and loving those of the same sex. Not teaching a child the word gay can’t and won’t erase homosexuality. If children can learn what a male or female is, what marriage is, why can’t they simply know what gay means?
At the end, we agreed to just disagree and after much debating I allowed my opinion to be just that - an opinion. But the discussion still bothers me. Homosexuality has become more accepted then ever before but we are still afraid of children knowing what loving someone of the same sex means. Can someone help me. What exactly is in the fear of a child knowing what gay means? My liberal single childless mind just doesn’t understand.
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