It’s official. Men are just as emotional and erratic as women. They just don’t like to admit it but every once in awhile their rational abilities fly out the widow and they do something that just doesn’t make any kind of sense.
Recently, when I wasn’t expecting it, I had a great eharmony date. It was only suppose to be coffee but we got along so well the date didn’t end until 6 hours later. At one point we looked at each other and questioned if we ever met someone else we immediately felt so comfortable with. I left that date thinking, wow; maybe you actually can meet someone compatible over the Internet. He texted me not too long after to tell me how much of a great time he had and how surprised he was to meet someone like me. Ironically, even though I had been asking to meet someone that left me excited about what could possibly happen next, I wondered was I really ready to be vulnerable with someone new?
Skip to 3, 5, 10 days later still no phone call from the guy. After three days, I wondered if my phone service dropped the signal every time he called. I answered every blocked phone number just in case he was calling from another line. After 5 days and way too many conversations with telemarketers, I thought maybe he lost my phone number and started to watch my email box like a hawk. Finally, after a week, I did some soul searching and realized that this situation was just like my friend Sara’s. Her boyfriend waited 2 weeks to call her for the first date because he was just too scared to enter a relationship with someone so great. It just had to be a similar situation. But after 10 days, a horrible thought woke me up out of bed. Could he possibly be not calling me on purpose?
This thought was just too difficult to grasp that I had to ask a couple of my friends… has this ever happen to you? My girlfriend Naomi told me about a guy that she dated for two months. He even introduced her to his Mom and then out of the blue, never returned her phone call. Similar story with my friend Cheyenne, she went out on a romantic date. Dinner, an outside concert, and he even asked her out on the second date before the first one ended. But he too never called again.
So, the good thing is my ego doesn’t need to be too bruised because the Phantom Man has showed up in other people’s dating lives, not just mine. But I can’t help wonder why? If we haven’t read He’s Just Not Into You, we’ve seen it play out in our lives. Sometimes people for reasons that really don’t matter just don’t like a person. I can deal with the reality of that but what I can’t deal with is the lack of respect. As adults is it not safe to just simply say I’m no longer interested? As much as it might not be an easy conversation but this is someone that you actually did like for even a couple hours, don’t you think that if you were in the other seat you would like to know what the hell happened? My theory is that these men were not really in their right mind in the first place. Most likely, they weren’t too sure what they wanted before hand. But when it comes to dating, are we women perceived as too fragile to deal with the truth? I believe when you know the truth, it’s much easier to move on. It’s when you don’t know that causes the lingering.
To the men out there, am I wrong to assume the Phantom Man has more to do with him then with me? Is my ego missing a moment of self-reflection and growth?
And ladies, is it just me or is hearing someone is just no longer interested much better to deal with then weeks of wondering what the hell happened?
Are people afraid of telling the truth making dating a lot more harder then it needs to be?
