Tuesday, May 24, 2011

INFIDELITY AND MARRIAGE - DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHO YOU'RE WITH?




One of the most heated conversations my friends and I get into has to do with cheating. I don’t believe in most situations, it's a revelation the wife had no idea was coming. Most of the time we saw it coming and chose to ignore it. Not at all do I believe ANYONE, man or woman deserves to be cheated on OR do I believe cheating is ok. I just believe that we as women more often then not choose to ignore the signs that point to our man cheating. Men who sleep with anything and everything when they are single are most likely going to sleep with anything and everything when they are married.

For most women, getting married equals to a life of monogamy. I don’t believe all men assume the same. Unfortunately, saying “ I do” in front of a group of friends and family doesn’t mean a man (or a woman really) is making the decision to sleep with one person for the rest of his life. Therefore when it comes to marriage we not only have to talk to our partners about monogamy we also have to take a logical and rational look at their actions and behaviors that they will inevitably bring into the marriage regardless if we like them or not.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a pig and deserves the criticism and the lost of trust he now has to deal with from his wife and kids. But on the other hand, I don’t believe Arnold all of sudden switched up on Maria and decided one day his housekeeper looked good. I’m not saying she allowed this to happen, I’m just suggesting there was probably a couple of instances that pointed to the probability of him having another child she chose to ignore.

We all should have a close friend we can trust to give us the real when it comes to choosing a life partner. The greatest advantage and fault that comes with love is that it’s an endorphin rush. The life you see ahead of you with the one you love is optimistic, full of love, respect and support. Because we don’t consider the hardships or the rocky moments we all need that friend who is able to give us a logical and rational outlook. I told a friend she had every right to sit me down and tell me everything that I wasn’t looking at in regards to the man I wanted to marry. She was willing to take on the responsibility but she didn’t think anything she had to say or anyone else would matter at that moment. Honestly, she’s probably right.

What I do know is when it comes to marriage, a lot of us women are more interested in the wedding, the parties and the fantasy of finally having a man instead of really considering what it means to be attached to this one person for the rest of our lives. With infidelity being a top reason why 50% of marriages end in divorce it’s just silly to not consider what happens if our partner cheats and how it could affect the relationship.

But that would make too much sense right? And when it comes to love, who wants to think rational? 

1 comment:

  1. Girl, you know how I feel about this mess. I definitely feel for Maria. But a revelation about Ms. Shriver: The Kennedy Camelot is known for having philandering men, and as a Kennedy member, Maria probably carried some kind of understanding (not in the consolation sense) that men are philandering. Most of the women in her family looked the other way when Jack and Bobby were getting more than sensual birthday sing-o-grams form Marilyn Monroe. I think she eventually knew, and tried to look away. Kudos to Maria for breaking a generational cycle of allowing men to be so obnoxiously stupid.

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