I figured since I was on Match.com, I needed to give it a considerate attempt. I had been on it for a couple months and nothing had materialized other then a couple exchanged emails and failed attempts to meet for a date. But then there was Greg. He was white, with a ken doll smile. He had a couple headshots as profile pictures so I figured he was an actor. He wasn’t necessarily my type but there was no arguing- he was cute. Greg was extremely interested and as soon as we exchanged phone numbers he called immediately and asked if by chance I was available to go out the next evening. As much as I wanted to say no, the voices of my girlfriends infiltrated my thoughts. I need to be more open and down to have some fun. So… I was open.
Greg picked me up at my house that night. It wasn’t necessarily the safest choice to have a random man pick me up but I was being adventurous- differentiating myself from over analytical Areca. We went to a nice bar lounge not to far from my house. Greg had a nice demeanor but this horrible laugh. It was just loud and… unnecessary. The kid of laugh that made the whole room turns and asks “WTF”? But the odd thing was Greg had no idea. Not sure how but the man was just unaware of the stares and looks. That’s when I should have known Greg had a problem with boundaries. As we got through the small talk of where we were from and what we did Greg sipped on his courage juice. It didn’t take him too long to become bold enough to tell me how much he “loved black women”. See, Black women were “his thing”. Men like Greg are the exact reason why most black women are hesitant to date outside of their race. We don’t want to be sexualized because we are “different” – the exotic sexual conquest in a white man’s world. His new toy to play with that shows how hip, cool, and down he was. But Greg had no problem with voicing how much he loved black women’s bodies, our “attitudes” and how good we are in bed. Of course Greg saw no problem with his stereotypical list of qualities unaware that I could possibly be offended by anything he was saying. This was just his preference and besides he loved the way black women smelled. Yes, smelled. According to Greg, Black Women just smelled better than white women. Our smell was “rich, sexy, and just… good”. He curled up his nose as he described the smell of his Caucasian sisters. He threw all black women into one box labeled smell and reduced our culture and history to something so trivial as odor. I was done. Pissed off and livid I was ready to go home. But like we earlier established, Greg’s social skills were off. Instead of understanding the date was over, Greg decided to put his nasty face in my neck and too a whiff. It took a push and a “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME” for Greg to understand the date was over.
Later as I told my friends about the crazy man and his offensive comment about black women and smell, my girlfriends who have dated outside of their race shrugged their shoulders and hesitantly admitted that Greg is right… we do smell differently. They all agreed, black men and white men just smell differently and there is a commonality in odor when it comes to race. Years have gone by since their horrible date and I still am not ready to believe that racially we all have a specific odor. As many people I ask they all agree- it’s safe to say racially we all share a specific smell.
Now Greg might have a black girl fetish and slight alcohol problem but was he wrong or offensive for loving black women for their smell? A girlfriend of mine who has dated the rainbow has said in the most calm and endearing way how much she loves the smell of Indian men. Sure, I understand that individually we have are own smell but is it possible as a racial group we all smell the same? And seriously, isn’t it offensive to say you love a specific culture for the way they smell? Aren’t there a lot more other qualities to choose from?
The whole thing just sounds odd to me and honestly, Greg has made it a little hard for me to really trust the true interest from another white man. There are crazy people out there from all different races and cultures but this black woman is not interested in being loved because of how exotic and different I am. Sure, I want to be loved for being unique but lets not have those qualities limited to esthetics.
Is Greg crazy? Do black women and white women smell differently? Is it politically correct to say you are sexually attracted to the odor of a racial group?
