LIFE AND LOVE INSPIRATIONS FROM WOODY ALLEN'S MIDNIGHT IN PARIS

Don’t you love it when you see a film and it speaks directly to you? Somehow, you see the film right at the exact moment you are searching for some clarity. This is what happened when I saw Woody Allen’s new film Midnight In Paris on Saturday night. Lately, my workload has been a little daunting. It’s not that I necessarily have a lot to do at this present moment but being a writer and producer on multiple projects at different stages has just left me a lil confused and hazy with my focus. I’m not sure what each day requires of me and instead of taking the time to make a plan I just react to what is asked of me. Never a good situation. As though things seem in the right place, I’ve just been left coming home in the evening not sure what to do next. The busier I become the less I give myself the time to think. I know that sounds crazy but as a writer, I need at least two to three hours a day by myself.

After spending the last year and a half in front of my computer moving from café to café, having to show up and work in an office day to day is still a transition I’m having a hard time getting use to. When being quiet and by myself is part of what I need to create, after spending 9 hours in a room with multiple people asking questions and plenty of meetings to attend, a lot of my “create” time has been pushed to the evenings.

Coming home after work and having the space and the option to do more work I have realized is an asset. A realization that is terrifying and comforting. Whoever I ended up with will have to understand how crucial and important alone time is to not only my career but also my sanity. He doesn’t have to be an artist or work in a creative field but he has to understand what I do and how I think, is a little unconventional.  You see, sometimes that “work” that I need after my 9 to 5 could be watching a movie, sitting in silence, listening to a specific cd, being on my computer or even going to a particular place and listening to people talk. All of it is damn bizarre but it’s crucial and whomever I end up dating is going to have to understand that. There are some days that I’m actually able to get all my work done during the day and like every other normal person, my evening is for relaxing but those days can’t be scheduled or predicted.

Midnight In Paris, a film about Gil, a successful screenwriter writing the novel he always wanted while visiting Paris with his fiancé, confirmed dating a writer is the job for a remarkable person. Someone able to see beyond the tangible and present. Gil’s fiancé Ines thinks his dream of moving to Paris and writing is crazy and doesn’t make any sense when he is making millions rewriting films and living in Malibu. When he wants to walk the streets at night in the rain, she finds him silly and irrational. 

You see, the person who dates a writer has to not only understand our odd antidotes but really truly value art over commerce. Any artist will tell you, even the crazy rich ones, it’s not the money that we are chasing but more importantly validation for our work and creation. And receiving that comes at the cost of wanting and seeking great work.  Sometimes the cost of great work is not going out and being social. Sometimes we have to do the opposite of everyone else.

Midnight In Paris reminded me how important it is to listen to your dreams and desires. They were given to you for a reason. At the end of the movie when Gil finally breaks up with his bitchy girlfriend, life immediately falls in place. He is reacquainted with a woman he met at the flea market over a Cole Porter record and she happily walks in the rain with him, the one thing his ex girlfriend refused to do.

Finding the right person is never hard. It’s actually effortless and perfect. Like the commitment to being a writer; you must stay dedicated to being with the right person even when it seems impossible. Because one day, at the right time and the right place, it will all come together so serendipitous, everything before that moment no longer matters. 

A WRITER'S LIFE COMES FULL CIRCLE - finding career success in the one place I pushed away

I’ve been a writer before I was actually able to write. My parents gave me a beat up typewriter to keep me busy when I was a toddler (guess their weren’t any stuff animals around) so therefore my fascination with words began. As much as writing has been apart of my identity for over nearly 30 years, this year my journey has taken me to a place that I never thought I would be, oddly a place that not only makes sense but feels as if I’ve arrived at the one place I was being prepared for.

After years, of pushing away from being a substantial part of my father’s advertising agency, I am working there leading an initiative to develop and produce original content for the web. For years, I saw advertising as a limited structure that didn’t support the stories I wanted to tell the way film and television did. As I writer, I was lucky enough to have a place to work at from time to time but I purposely kept my role there limited, not fully committing to the business. But now with the surge of branded content, product placement, and new media, my love for story telling and innate understanding of marketing have become beneficial to the business more than ever. For the first time, the two disciplines that I understood but saw separately are working together in a new way. Only a year ago, my resume confused people.  No one knew what do you do with a resume that included film, television and commercial writing and production. Now my skills are not only beneficial but are seen as extremely unique. Here I am after years of running, I am doing exactly what I set out to do in one place I never thought could make it possible.

Though I have gotten to a place where writing and creating is paying the bills, I am still staying dedicated to working on my own projects. At the end of last year, before I started working at the agency, I decided to write a story that I wanted to tell.  I got sick of considering if my idea was marketable, what studios could be interested, and all of the other fallible considerations that I have spent years wondering about as a developed a script.  Instead I wrote a simple story exploring the grey areas of love because I wanted to. I decided I would get a group of friends, shoot on a low budget and put it up on the web. But the more that I worked on the project I started to consider that I was playing small. I had made the decision that my project wouldn’t be of interest to anyone else but what if I actually had something special? Something that could change the way people viewed multicultural characters and more importantly challenge the realms of stories worthy of being told? What if I believed I wrote something worthy of gaining the attention of others who didn’t know me and just wanted to be apart of good work?  So instead of playing small, I started to play strategic. I found a producing partner I started to create a business plan that included my understanding and relationships in advertising. I reached out beyond just my friends and sent my work to recognizable directing and acting talent. Now less than six months later, I am in a position that I never imagined I could be in having to decide between multiple actors and directors with a strong desire to be apart of my little project. This is after my manager read it and dismissed it, after a writer friend told me that playing “big” on the web was useless. Honestly, for the first time, I didn’t consider what others though and went forward with my idea. And it’s paying off in a huge way.

Right now, creatively I am flowing and it feels great. I writing at the agency, producing my own web project and was only hired as a writer on a documentary project. If that wasn’t enough, I am still developing new ideas and have committed to my writing mentor two new features this year. Recently, I was contacted by a producer to develop a remake of a film that I really like and believe in.

 I’m busy. Really busy, but honestly, as much as it all can get overwhelming at times, for the first time in my life I have a strong committed confidence that isn’t worried about how, when, or if – I just do what I need to do. It feels manageable and possible only because I believe it is. 

Early last year, when I was training for a half marathon, I noticed my body would fall into a pattern in my long runs. In the first three miles, I hated every step. My knees hurt, my mind would think about every other thing I could be doing. I’d come up with excuses why I shouldn’t’ be running and think about all of the long hard miles ahead of me.

Somewhere around the 5^th or 6th mile, my body would begin to loosen up.  I’d be able to actually think about other things without even really recognizing how many miles I had left in the run. Minutes later, I would be around the 8^th or 9^th mile falling into “The Zone”: a deep mental consciousness similar to meditation. I’d forget about the miles behind me, not concerned with the miles ahead. Deeply present and focused with my current stride, while preparing to move harder and faster. The focus was intense, passionate, and unshakeable. I feel like I’m in the exact same place with my writing career, I’m In The Zone- effortlessly committing to the hard work required to achieve my goals without any concern with what happened in the past or worried about what’s going to happen in the future. I’m here. I’m now. Stronger, more equipped and skilled than ever before.

Oddly, my comfort with my career has also influenced ease in my dating life. I’m no longer dating online and have pulled back from the “search”. I think for many the pursuit of dating comes from a place of lack.  Especially women, we consider being in a relationship as the beginning of life, the measure of success and advancement. But the truth is, life is happening in every moment and relationships are only PART of the journey. I think the best place to be when it comes to love is a place of balance. You have to be truly happy by yourself but also somehow still open to meeting someone. Being content and single but still open is a hard one for me. Not sure if I am fully there but I am definitely close. Where I am  with my writing teaches me that if you put in the hard work and the dedication, God takes care of the details. 

SUCCESS OR LOVE? THE CHOICE MOST WOMEN WILL HAVE TO MAKE

“There’s no way a high profile fashion editor would move to the middle of Georgia just for a man. You need something to force her to go. No career woman would go just because she fell in love”.

That was my good friend and mentor pointing out the main flaw in the treatment for my latest script. It’s a romantic comedy about a woman who struggles between falling in love and staying afloat in her dream career. According to him, a woman with a great job and social life in a metropolitan city would never abandon it all just because she fell in love. When it comes to building story and strong characters, he’s right. You want to have your character make active decisions, not just wander through life with ease.  She can’t just go because she wants to. The decision has to be a hard one, and she has to be forced to make it. Note taken. But if the question is about the validity of her choice, I disagree. I know plenty of career driven women who have the job, the money and the fabulous place just waiting to find the one man who can make all the material things less appealing.

When it comes to love, the career driven woman isn’t too different from the woman whose main agenda is finding a husband. Regardless of personal histories we all started off with dolls and movies conjuring up the fantasy of prince charming.  Our lives all played out in different ways, raised by different parents with different values but we are all given the belief that being taken care of by a man is not only the ultimate goal but a true sign of affection. It might not be our personal belief but we still struggle with it. Can you have it all, should you have it all, and what is more fulfilling?  For most women, the idea of being financially secure is not because you don’t want to rely on someone else but more about not believing you can.

I see myself as a career driven woman. I’m far from a corporate chick but my career goals have always lead my life. I’ve never subscribed to the ideal of finding someone who can take care of me. Having parents that got together when they were young and a mother who has always worked colored my perspective of finding the person I can build my life with. But along with my career goals, I have the goal of finding a partner and one day becoming a mother of my own. So if I had to make the decision between an extremely lucrative and prolific writing career while being alone versus being with the man of my dreams and having a family, I am not sure if being alone would win. Of course my goal would be to have it all.

I have to say, I think all of my six figure girlfriends would leave their jobs in a heartbeat and move to the rural south. Especially if money wasn’t an option. I think most women are really looking for the opportunity to give it all up. It’s not that career trumps love, it’s that love hasn’t shown up yet to be more valuable.

I think the conversation has made me realize how much criticism women with strong career goals face. People see her differently when all women are looking for their own version of love. I think my friend’s disapproval comes from his experience. As far as he is concerned no one should have to leave their career for love. Unfortunately women have to face this decision more often than not.

NO ONE SAID 32 WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS

I woke up this morning to 32. I have to say I had no idea 32 years old would look like this.

Because my birthday is towards the end of the year, I often approach this day with self-reflection; where am I going? Where have I been? This year especially has been an interesting one. This time last year, I decided to venture out and work freelance. The previous two years, I was lucky enough to have a good run at my father’s advertising agency producing and writing commercials. When I started to in production, I ended up copywriting and wrote and produced two Honda Accord campaigns. I had actually begun to enjoy working in advertising in a way that I never thought was possible. I grew up in the industry but I’ve always have been stubborn and wanted my own dream, my own career as a screenwriter. But my time writing and producing commercials helped me realize that my work as a screenwriter was more viable then ever before. With my 10 year college anniversary approaching, a stack full of scripts behind me, and a number of agents/ managers who came and went, My dream was still so bright and encompassing that it often woke me out of my sleep. If I was going to continue, I had to approach my writing career differently.

For years, I had always been afraid of “what if it doesn’t happen”. My fear of failure allowed me to always put energy and effort into a Plan B. But in giving Plan B a life and possibility I was also saying my dream the opportunity to die. So as I ventured into 2010, I was going to put my writing first. I figured I would create my life and my career in the way that I saw it and hopefully those around me would begin to see me in the same light. If I am a writer, then I work as a writer, live as a writer which is completely different from seeking the approval and co sign of someone else.

This year has been extremely interesting because in some ways, I’ve achieved exactly what I set out to do. I wake up every morning to my computer and I write. I spend my days going in and out of my favorite coffee shops and the majority of the paychecks made this year was made writing. Creatively, I am the strongest I have ever been. My voice is clear and sharp. Finally I am no longer seeking to mimic what others did in their careers but have confidently become the authority of my own work.

But there is still so much more work to do. Money has been a struggle this year in a way it’s never been before and with my age, doubt and fear creep in and take hold with more vigor and intensity. But I still write... story telling is so deeply routed in my identity and an essential element of my sanity that I know I am not suppose to do anything else.

So on my 32nd birthday I am thankful for having the courage to step out and create the life that I have always wanted and pray for the patience and resilience to keep the dream visualized.

The one thing I have learned this year is we all have the power to have exactly what we want in life we just need the courage and work ethic make it come alive.

COMPUTER CRASH - A WRITER'S NIGHTMARE OR DREAM?

 

Last Sunday night minutes away from finishing a commercial script, the intimidating spinning wheel popped up on my screen and never stopped spinning. My computer died. And I lost everything on it.

Not only everything that I had written for that one project but literally everything that I have written in the last 10 years was gone. Of course backing up your work is easy these days but I was horrible at it and as much as my computer was old and I knew I was in need of a new one, I never prepared for the chance one day my computer could never work again.

As a writer, this is worst thing that can happen. Now, after the initial shock and fear, I sit in front of a brand new computer there is something oddly refreshing and exciting about starting over.

As a writer, so much of what I have previously imagined and written shapes what I want to write in the future. If I have already written a romantic comedy about best friends it’s time to try something different. But now without the reference of worlds and lives that I have previously created, I can do and write anything that I want to in a new way never fully expressed. I don’t have to worry about the script that I wrote that never was rewritten. I don’t have to linger over the TV pilot that I loved and no one else got. Right now I start from a completely new page one. The great thing about being a writer is that although I do not tangibly hold my previous work, anything that I now write is inherently touched with the knowledge and skill gained over the years. Without the looming pages of past work glaring at me and influencing a false sense of authority, I feel like I now walk with a new found freedom.

The one thing that drives me insane about screenwriters is that so often people believe the pursuit equals the skill. When people discuss the number of screenplays they have completed as if that alone deserves merit negates the skill and talent needed to write a beautifully written and original piece of work.  The truth is writing 300 scripts isn’t what makes you great – It is one that does the trick.  Not one script but “The One”.

As Malcolm Gladwell discusses in “Outliers” it’s the practice of creating story and rewriting that creates The One but it’s that one piece of work that stands out above the rest that carries not only the possibility of the next great step but also carries the blood sweat and tears of the thousands and pages before.

Early this year in a very emotional and real moment with my manager, he said to me “You’ve written good, but I haven’t seen great”. As much as it hurt, I couldn’t argue. But for any artist, great shows up without warning.  Great can happen tomorrow or it can happen in 20 years.

When I got the news that years of scripts, thoughts, documents, music, pictures, were gone forever I just went numb. And my father said, “It’s the same mind- same heart”.  And it’s true. I might not be physically able to hold or touch the years of a written work but they are still in the place that matters the most – my heart and soul.  Not sure if I got 10, 000 hours but I got something close. Therefore I move forward with ease and excitement to the making of me. 

DARK ROOMS AND POPCORN!!

I've been lucky enough to cover the Los Angeles Film Festival for Venus Zine Magazine. This is pretty much my first journalism endeavor since my days of wanting to be a reporter in high school. Before I got bit by the screenwriting bug. It's been a really great experience. The best part has been having a press pass! So many people WANT to talk to me for possible exposure and when there is a long line for a screening my beautiful yellow pass gets me "priority seating". Can't tell you the last time I felt so special!

Even though, I have been participating as "press", as a writer it's also been a really great experience. For years, I have avoided attending film festivals. I just got soo tired of all the thirsty people. Most filmmakers, writers, directors that are there are so hungry for their careers to take off they are so aggressively looking for the person to change their life. No one is really interested in who you are. They just  want to know what you do and what you can do for them. This is why I hate "Networking Events". Working as a directors assistant was when I experienced some of the worst times at a film festival. People throwing cards, constant emails, scripts at me all for a chance. And the Director I worked for wasn't that interested in helping someone else than he was in pushing his career forward. The problem is most people at film festivals are more interested in seeing what someone can do for them instead of learning their craft. I am a firm believer if you do a great job, then chance and opportunity come to you. When your work is great, you don't have to shove it down peoples throats. One of my favorite Prince songs, "Baby I'm A Star" says it oh so perfectly:

Nothing come to easy, but when you got it baby, nothing come to hard 


This experience at a film festival was different because I just focused on celebrating film making. It's funny because as many people who move to Los Angeles to work in the business, I don't know that many that actually love films. Most people are chasing fame and validation then really understanding and loving the art of story. The following films have been ones that I have enjoyed and are worth seeing at the Film Festival this week.

The New Year - A very simplistic coming of age story of Sunny, a college drop out who moved back home to Pensacola, Fl to take of her cancer ridden father. Two years later, her life is still on pause. She's stuck between doing what's good for her and doing what's safe.

Everyday Sunshine, The Story of Fishbone -- The title says it all. As teenager in the 90's, I remember Fishbone but had NO IDEA that their story was so dramatic and interesting. The documentary itself is good but its the band members candid interviews that make it soo great. If you are not a fan when you see the film, you'll definitely be one when you leave.

Cyrus - I saw this film without knowing really anything about the whole "mumblecore" phenom. I had been waiting to see this film because of the fact that the filmmakers (Duplass brothers) found a way to spin a romantic comedy. Any romantic comedy writer is in constant pursuit of how to tell the same love story differently. Well, the Duplass brothers do and succeed.

Tonight I see Waiting For Superman, the documentary about our failing school system made by Davis Guggenheim, the Oscar winning director of an Inconvenient Truth. Followed by a pool side discussion about how to possibly save public education.

Later this week I see:

 Revolucion - the culmination of 10 short films by the most prominent Mexican directors. All have a perspective of Mexico's growth since the Mexican Revolution.

Welcome To The Rileys - The Jake Scott directed tale of rebirth and reinvention in New Orleans. Starring James Gandolfini, Melissa Leo and Kristen Stewart.

Animal Kingdom - The Australian gangster movie that was a Sundance favorite.

The King of Pastry - Anyone who watches the Food Network knows that making Pastries can deal with a lot of drama. This french documentary follows 16 chefs over 3 days as they compete for the Meilleurs Ouvriers de France - one of the highest accolade for a Pastry Chef.

All reviews of these films will be on www.venuszine.com as the week continues.

Off to the movies!