Jessie James. Tiger Woods. Shaq O’Neal. David Boreanaz. Tiki Barber.
These days there is another story of some celebrity cheating on their wives. And then boom, instantly the marriage is dissolved and life moves forward. But what I don’t understand is when people decide to get married, til death do us part, should cheating be the end of a marriage? I am far from a religious conservative or someone who believes in archaic gender roles, I’m just someone who doesn’t understand why people would make the decision to be aligned with someone for the rest of your lives and not mean it. I’ve never been married but I have been cheated on and the feeling is horrible. Regardless of the heartbreaking visual of your partner with someone else, it’s the complete breach of trust that is hard to repair from. But that was with my boyfriend, someone that I made the decision to TRY with. Not someone that I made a commitment in front of my friends, family, and the government to be with regardless of what comes our way. When someone cheats in a marriage, isn’t it the duty of the two parties to at least try to come back from that? I guess that is the one thing I do not understand with the idea of marriage these days. Do people not understand when you decide to marry someone that the possibility of someone screwing up right there in front of your face? The idea of monogamy for the entirety of a union is something that I never subscribed to. Not that it is not possible but the idea that we will not be highly attracted in another human being is so far against our human make up that it is something that both parties have to understand is not easily achieved. You got to work at it. Over and over again. It’s the person that thinks it is easy that scares me.
When I decide to get married, I plan to take my dedication and commitment seriously. I do not plan to stand and make such a public declaration without the thought of me or my partner making a disastrous mistake and what it could mean for our partnership. I am not at all suggesting these marriages should not have ended. I recognize that I do not know these people and have no idea what really happened in their relationships. All I am asking is do people really get married with the understanding that union means “for the rest of their lives”? And if that is not the case, why the hell get married in the first place? We currently live in a society where women have the opportunity to financially support themselves, have sex when they want to, and men can have multiple children outside of a marriage. We no longer HAVE to get married. The advantages that marriage once gave us are accessible without the ring, certificate and thousand of dollars spent on flowers. So, if people are going to do it, shouldn’t we truly consider are partners as people we are want to be with for the REST OF OUR LIVES? Even when they screw up? Why do it, if the union and commitment doesn’t mean anything?
This one is controversial and I know there are plenty out there who think I’m crazy. Love to hear what you guys think.