“There’s no way a high profile fashion editor would move to the middle of Georgia just for a man. You need something to force her to go. No career woman would go just because she fell in love”.
That was my good friend and mentor pointing out the main flaw in the treatment for my latest script. It’s a romantic comedy about a woman who struggles between falling in love and staying afloat in her dream career. According to him, a woman with a great job and social life in a metropolitan city would never abandon it all just because she fell in love. When it comes to building story and strong characters, he’s right. You want to have your character make active decisions, not just wander through life with ease. She can’t just go because she wants to. The decision has to be a hard one, and she has to be forced to make it. Note taken. But if the question is about the validity of her choice, I disagree. I know plenty of career driven women who have the job, the money and the fabulous place just waiting to find the one man who can make all the material things less appealing.
When it comes to love, the career driven woman isn’t too different from the woman whose main agenda is finding a husband. Regardless of personal histories we all started off with dolls and movies conjuring up the fantasy of prince charming. Our lives all played out in different ways, raised by different parents with different values but we are all given the belief that being taken care of by a man is not only the ultimate goal but a true sign of affection. It might not be our personal belief but we still struggle with it. Can you have it all, should you have it all, and what is more fulfilling? For most women, the idea of being financially secure is not because you don’t want to rely on someone else but more about not believing you can.
I see myself as a career driven woman. I’m far from a corporate chick but my career goals have always lead my life. I’ve never subscribed to the ideal of finding someone who can take care of me. Having parents that got together when they were young and a mother who has always worked colored my perspective of finding the person I can build my life with. But along with my career goals, I have the goal of finding a partner and one day becoming a mother of my own. So if I had to make the decision between an extremely lucrative and prolific writing career while being alone versus being with the man of my dreams and having a family, I am not sure if being alone would win. Of course my goal would be to have it all.
I have to say, I think all of my six figure girlfriends would leave their jobs in a heartbeat and move to the rural south. Especially if money wasn’t an option. I think most women are really looking for the opportunity to give it all up. It’s not that career trumps love, it’s that love hasn’t shown up yet to be more valuable.
I think the conversation has made me realize how much criticism women with strong career goals face. People see her differently when all women are looking for their own version of love. I think my friend’s disapproval comes from his experience. As far as he is concerned no one should have to leave their career for love. Unfortunately women have to face this decision more often than not.
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