Synchronicity- the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner.
When a tumultuous relationship ended, I made a promise to myself that before the next man was given full access to my life, I was going to be positive that he deserved every once of it. I dived into my work, focused on my health, and allowed my dating life to figure itself out.
For months, it was purposely all about me. Many friends thought I was odd and maybe a little harsh but then one night when I wasn’t looking, things changed. I went to one of my usual bars with my best friend when a drunken woman literally grabbed me out of the crowd and yelled “Oh my god, You’d be perfect for my friend!” I looked to the side of her expecting to find some equally drunk man but a short blond girl stood there instead. Sensing my annoyance and confusion, she told me the friend in question wasn’t there but I would “love” him anyway. Again, this woman didn’t know my name or even if I was single but the confidence she sipped on gave her miraculous insight into my love life. She gave me her email address and told me if I were interested she would set it up.
I remember going home actually really mad. I felt like this is exactly why I have no interest in dating. Of course I would be the one to get approached by a drunken women trying to set me up with their obviously helpless and extremely needy best friend. But later that night, I couldn’t sleep and actually emailed her. In my head, I already knew exactly what was going to happen, he was going to be nothing like someone I would be interested in but the experience could give me something to write about.
I remember the day of the blind date; I passed his picture to all of my co-workers in desperate need of finding someone to agree with me, he looked like we would have nothing in common and I should just cancel. But … I couldn’t find one person. All agreed he was actually good looking and I had no idea what could happen next. And unfortunately… every one was right but me. We actually hit it off and later that night I sat in my bed in a daze … I had just met someone special.
Immediately after meeting each other were seeing each other almost every day. There was not only an instant connection but more importantly an instinctive comfort level that made getting to know each other effortless. Later, when a good friend of his came into town, we learned that our connection was oddly even deeper. Not only had my new boyfriend’s aunt once worked for my father but during that time when I was a 10 years old, I had become close with his cousin and had tons of pictures of the two of us as kids. His aunt used to pick him up after school and actually take him to my father’s office. As his aunt tells it, we met numerous times as children and she has pictures of the two of us at birthday parties. As our relationship progressed we discovered more odd connections of our past with other family members and friends. Here we were, connected for years but brought together by what we assumed was an indiscretion of a drunken friend.
After a year, the relationship feel apart and we moved on. Every once in awhile when I am unsure about where I am going and when will what I currently going through finally make sense, I look back at this relationship and remind myself, things always work out as they are suppose to. It’s obvious for more ways than one that we were both meant to experience that relationship. Not only did I grow tremendously but I can pinpoint other hardships and periods of growth that led me to that specific experience. When I think of the string of random moments that lead to me that one place and time, I remind myself, even without the answers, everything in my life is evolving exactly the way it is intended.
Although extremely cliché, I believe love is not a destination but a journey (I know, how cheesy can I get). I think in life we get so caught up in the notion of that “one fine day” when life will all come together but I’m not sure if that moment exists. I think we have many moments. Many reminders that we are on the right path. Many soul mates that enter our lives, push us to be greater and leave footprints on our hearts. Love, good and bad, is truly about the exploration of who we are and who we shall become. It’s not a status symbol or about the false guarantee we will at least never be alone. It’s through the pairing and exploration of life with another being we learn extensively about ourselves. That is why we must love once and then love again and again because without it we can become stagnant, unaltered and unlived. Through love we have the opportunity of becoming the person we always knew was there.
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