WE'RE SINGLE TIL WE'RE MARRIED" - The one comment that always seems to piss someone off.

He’s tall, charismatic, witty, and he’s own person. Whenever we see each other it’s like everyone else has left the room. At a crowded party, you’ll find us in the corner laughing. Over lunch, hours have gone by before we realize we’re late for the next appointment. In some ways he’s the perfect match for me… in one way he is not. Sure, when he mentioned he had a girlfriend I was disappointed but I enjoyed hanging out with him and continued to do so. We have a true friendship but it would be ignorant to ignore there is something a little more. It’s nothing romantic but there is a bond both of us have mentioned is special. A bond between two people that doesn’t happen often.

Because he has a girlfriend, others have mentioned that I should stop being his friend. Because there is a connection that is different then your standard platonic friendship, it’s been suggested I need to stop any possibility that could be a threat to his relationship. I don’t see it like that. I respect the fact that he is in a relationship and because of that, I don’t want our friendship to be anything more than it is right now but to the suggestion to stop building upon a connection that is special to me just because he has a girlfriend is invalid. Not an option.

See, a girlfriend to me isn’t forever. A girlfriend could be forever but it doesn’t have the finality that a wife does. When you commit to a person for “forever”, what you essentially do when you get married, I believe it’s your duty to not do anything that could pose a threat to that sacred bond. But being in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to me is saying, “let’s try this out and see if it works”. In many ways, I see relationships as

 You’re Single Till You Are Married.

A lot of people are upset by this comment. This statement does not mean the commitment between a boyfriend and girlfriend is not valid. A promise is a promise, regardless of the form. But when you are in a committed relationship outside of marriage, I see it as you are off the market RIGHT NOW. Then off the market FOREVER.

Back to the relationship with my “friend”. I have no interest in “taking” him away from his girlfriend. Nor do I have an interest in building upon our friendship while he is in a relationship with another woman. I don’t believe in cheating and always thought if someone is willing to cheat with you, they are more likely to cheat on you. But I am not going to deny our deep connected friendship because of another connection he has with someone else. Especially when the two are completely different. The truth is I actually like his girlfriend. And I recognize how special she is to him. Their relationship is strong. So strong that I don’t see our friendship as a threat to their bond. Being a strong connection with another person isn’t something that happens everyday and I am not willing to let that go off of the chance of “maybe”. We’ll continue to be friends. Good Friends, until the situation is not longer beneficial to both of us.