COMPROMISE - A Bad Word In Relationships?

A friend of mine wanted to hook me up with an accountant. He’s 5’9, wears a suit the majority of time, enjoys staying at home then going out, and doesn’t listen to anything other then jazz music. I took a pass on the date. She thought I was crazy because I had no idea if we were a match or not. But the truth is, I’ve dated lots of men and the older I get… I know what works. When did knowing what I want become a crime?

I love Eartha Kitt’s response in this video. She’s a little crazy but she definitely knows what she wants. And getting it is not an option. But that word Compromise… how important is it when it comes to relationships? Do we all need it to some degree?

I struggle with the notion of compromise in both my relationships and career. When or do you ever get to a point when you realize maybe what I am fighting for just doesn’t exist?  One of the greatest gifts of being multiple relationships is getting the chance to really define what you want and what works for you. And as I get older, I become more clear of what type of man and relationship matches the lifestyle that I want BUT… I am also very clear about what I don’t want. So in the area of Mr. Accountant, I know most men with stable and rational careers just think I am crazy. My instability when it comes to time and money is uncomfortable for them as well as my constant expression of emotions. Plus I know I need to be out and social and I really would love if I could share that with my partner.  I’m not interested in dating men shorter then me, men who don’t have an affinity for the arts, who are shy or socially awkward, and who don’t have the same morals and values as I have. So do I go out with this guy even though I know the probability of us liking each other is small? And if we do fall in love, which has happened before, with someone who is relatively different from me, how long will it really last before we drive the other crazy?

My favorite part of this video is when she says:

I fall in love with myself and I want someone to share it with me.

There have been times in relationships where I have apologized for who I am. And we should never have to do that. When your self expression and self worth is being compromised, then that’s where compromise is never an option.

So maybe it’s not necessarily having standards, or a list of what he should look like or what he should believe in… but more importantly… does he love me for me? And if the answer is yes… why does anything else matter?