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| Why does he have to look at sad and pathetic in the back? |
A couple weeks ago, I wrote a piece titled “How To Date A White Guy”. I purposely choose a title that would catch people’s attention but for those who actually read it they know the piece was not about selecting white men over black men but more about letting go past assumptions that limited my opportunities when it comes to dating. I’m a black woman in my 30’s who wants to be married with kids one day. If I am black, white, purple, or even magenta, limiting my options is not a smart thing especially when it comes to love.
Tonight I read “8 Reason to Date A White Man” at Madamenoire.com and was disgusted. It is full of assumptions and stereotypical reasons to dating a “white man” that has nothing to do with love or compatibility. I am a single black woman and believe that black women and everyone else on the goddamn planet cannot construct rules when it comes to finding an ideal partner. Come on, aren’t we over that crap by now? Yes. Culture is alive and well. Culture differences should be celebrated and never ignored. There are multiple inherent cultural similarities with a black man that I most likely will not have with a white man but why should I allow those differences to limit my possibilities when it comes to love? Especially in a time where we all are more culturally similar then ever before?
What this article does is not liberate black women from false pretenses. Instead the writer has publicly based every black man with ludicrous stereotypes while attempting to uplift white men with the same backwards thinking. Not all white men “ don’t take everything as a challenge to their masculinity” or even “have the ability to look beyond their past”. I know tons of chauvinist white men “looking for someone to take care of them” as well as many white men who don’t know a thing about “financial planning and stability”. When there is a Black President in the White House who dispels every single stereotype and possible opportunity for a Black man how could anyone write such an ignorant piece?
The world just continues to blow my mind! I know many ways to support black women in dating outside their race without bashing black men. Jesus… I know thousands of beautiful, strong, loving, impeccable black men looking for a partner. There is no shortage. We just live in a time where limitations do not serve us anymore. So fall in love because you can- not because it will help your financial and social goals. When you can create a list of why you are with the man you are with without writing love, morals, or reasons beyond the color of his skin- you do not know the definition of love.
And the even more ignorant thing about the article? The article is coupled with pictures of black women with men who are not even white! The online magazine is not only stereotyping black men but is even more backwards in it’s assumption that every man with fair skin and not black is in fact white.
Moments like this make me thankful for growing up in California. Other than New York City, the rest of the country is so archaic and still living in the 50’s. Oh no… Did I just stereotype? Well if Madame Noire can make ignorant assumptions I guess I can too.
Just read the Madame Noire article. The affirmation of such gross cultural stereotypes is indeed deeply troubling, especially by someone who's branded herself as a paragon to African American women.
ReplyDeleteJust came across your blog because I was searching for Madame Noire, now I definitely want to read both said articles. Doesn't sound very empowering by the sound of your disgust.
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