New Years Eve has always been a special holiday for me. In some ways it’s my favorite holiday. I love the fact that everybody is down to celebrate. Everyone is ready to party, get dressed up and have the time of their life. On the sentimental side, I love the idea of bringing in the New Year with the people that you love and want to share the next year with. It symbolizes the mystery of the year ahead and whom you want to enter the New Year with. That’s why I always love to spend it with my girlfriends.
One New Years Eve, we took too long to actually plan something fabulous and ended up getting drunk and eating weed brownies. Anyone who knows me knows this was an odd celebration. No heels, no dress, no great dinner. Just weed, champagne and 10 grown women acting crazy. The great thing about New Years Eve is you have no idea what the night is going to bring and honestly this New Years Eve was one of the most memorable. Not because I was high out of my mind but for what happened in the middle of the night when essentially the party was over. At least I thought. Hours after we passed out my friend got a call from the guy she was dating. He was coming over after the club so she decided to wake me up, give me a blanket, and asked me to park it on the couch. Honestly, I don’t remember what I said at the time but I do remember waking up the next morning pissed. You’re going to wake up me, your girl, for some guy who has no shame in the fact that he’s coming over just to hit? It’s not that I’m a snob about where I sleep. Bed or couch, as long as I get to do what I’m there to do, sleep. The issue is that fact that moving me for literally 15 minutes of drunken sex is an option. Years, have gone by since this incident I’m still perplexed over the choice. Never wake up your girl. If sex is that important, have sex in the living room, kitchen, car, and bathroom wherever. Literally, my mind doesn’t even work like that. If I needed to have sex at the moment, I don’t think I would consider waking my friend. I’d probably have him pick me up or get real creative on finding our spot.
The problem is, I’m literally, the minority on this issue. Other girlfriends don’t see what the big deal is. “It’s just sex and she didn’t throw me out of the house”, “All you had to do was sleep on the couch” have been various replies. But I guess my issue is, the choice. The fact that a man, or sex, depending how you look at it, has more priority over me. Sure, I’ve made stupid mistakes before and have chosen being with a man over my girls a couple of times but honestly, I’ve never been okay with this decision. In some ways, I believe that I have valued my friendships over my possible love relationships to a fault. One New Years Eve when I was actually in a serious relationship and went home with him for Christmas and returned back to LA early because I wanted to be at my friends impromptu wedding on New Years Eve. Sure, I missed him but I didn’t think it was right to choose this man, who I loved dearly but essentially only knew for months, over a special moment in my girlfriends life that I knew for years. Ironically, the girlfriend and I actually just patched things up after months of not speaking but still I thought it was right to be there. Sure, missing a wedding and kicking your girl out of the bed for sex aren’t necessarily comparable decisions but some reason getting kicked out of that bed has always bothered me. Today we laugh about it but I’m still in awe that the majority of my girls say they would do the same.
In ways I’m the most romantic of my friends but I’ve always found interesting how much we as a society value love and relationships. Especially me. My self worth is in question at the end of a relationship. Regardless of the love and support of friends and family, I question my progression in life when I’m not dating. Logically, it doesn’t make sense that our potential partners, even if we’ve been with them for years get top billing to our friends, family and careers. But we all do it in the name of love. I can’t speak for my friend but I would argue that the decision was based in the possibility of love- not just sex. She liked this guy and was invested in one day having a relationship with him.
Who knows…
Am I just a sensitive chick? Would you kick your friend out of the bed for a potential booty call?
Honestly, you sound a little sensitive. If this girl is supposedly your BEST friend, isnt she supposed to be able to keep it real and get her some? Best girlfriends are like sisters - you love them and you do anything for them - but they are also supposed to be the ones who you can be real with. You share bathrooms, clothes, $$, secrets, and yes, if you can give them a little space to get some nookie, you hook it up! Isnt that part of the bestie code? Guys do it ALL the time. My guess is that if you weren't best friends with this girl you were sharing a bed with, she would have NEVER asked you to get out. But BECAUSE she knew you so well, and you knew her and her painful crush on this stupid guy she so wanted to be with, she trusted that you'd understand. It sounds to me like you are making this more about "how one treats a man versus their best friend" when really its question of how close and how much best friends should sacrifice for each other. This girl thought this was an understandable ask. Maybe you and her have different standards for a best friend relationship that you and her need to sort out. That being said, the best part of this story to me is that you got out of bed (bitter - but never the less you got out of bed). You didnt lecture her and tell her this guy will never become the love of her life, you didnt remind her how he didnt come to the party when she invited him, you didnt remind her how broke her heart thousands of times before, you let her have this moment - which to me is what we do with our best friends. We are there for them to cheer them on, get them laid!, help them fall in love, help them sort their paths to their personal and professional dreams, and when it doesnt work - even if we could have seen it a mile away - we wait for them to come crying to our arms and we comfort them.
ReplyDeletep.s. Was it her bed or your bed? If it was your bed - damn, she's greedy and that's asking A LOT. But if was hers, and if she hosted the party at her house, again, maybe you should cut her a little slack - she helped throw the damn party!!
I don't understand the problem. If I can quote from man law #1 "no cock blocking!" How are you going to want to lay all up in the bed when your homie has an opportunity to get down with someone they have had their eye on?
ReplyDeleteI had a guys trip in Vegas and 3 of us were staying in the same hotel room. One of my friends finds a very nice freaky girl that let him get his smash on back in OUR ROOM. Mind you we didn't know this happened until we walk back to the room at 4:30am and he locked us out. We slept in the hall till 5:30am to give him some time to crush those cookies, but we finally had enough and told him to let us in because we were drunk and tired. So we compromised he let us in and he proceeded to have sex with her again in the hotel fire escape...see there is always a way that everyone can feel like they won with giving a little and taking a little:) It would have also been a good compromise if she could've called her friends up for a little group sex. "It ain't no fun if the homie's can't have none"...which I think was the real problem with you in this story because you were left with cobb webs on the coochie and your friend was getting that New Years good good...you feel me!
Umm YoLittleHomieUpgrade... this is hilarious. First off, men and women obviously are cool with different things. I would never choose to sleep in the hall when I paid for a freakin room. Sorry. BUT I'm all for people gettin some. In a similar situation with girlfriends we shared a hotel room and one of my friends wanted to hook up and we planned for her to have the room for a certain amount of time. Done. I get it-I'm okay with being in the minority in this situation. But please let me tell you- group sex is never an option -even with cobb webs on the coochie!
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, I just think I don't value sex the same way as others. "Gettin some" has never been on my agenda. Sex just to have sex has never been something that excites me therefore I just don't see the reason to have it right then and there when it's not convenent when I can have it tomorrow when I got the room all to myself.