THE REASON YOU ARE SINGLE

A friend of mine going through a breakup argued that we are all not guaranteed to finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with, therefore instead of expecting love in our lives we should be working on preparing on being alone for the rest of our lives. I argued if we prepare to be alone, we will be alone. We all can have what we want in life – it’s the idea that we know when it’s going to come or what it looks like that gets us in trouble. We all can fall in love and have the partners we’ve always wanted. It’s only if we really believe it or not. Broken hearted and bitter, he told me I’m an optimistic and only going to end up disappointed. He and his broken heart is the perfect example of my point.

WE ARE ALL SINGLE FOR A REASON

We all hate that question: “So why are you single?” No one really has an answer for that and does the person asking the question REALLY want to know? See, the truth is, no one is just single BECAUSE. We all have problems. Issues. Hold Ups. And all of that affects us from meeting someone or more importantly affects our choice of a partner. We’ve all heard it before, a professional woman, at the top of her game, heartbroken she is alone. She lists all of her accomplishments, her income, and the property she owns as examples of why she is a good catch. Somehow along the way we decided that career success means that you somehow deserve and expect to find the perfect relationship. Unfortunately, holding down a job has nothing to do with holding down a relationship. If we’re single and don’t want to be, we got an issue or two to get through that we are not trying to work on. Often we are so focused on finding “Mr. or Mrs. Perfect” that we miss the opportunity to be the person our ideal would want to be with.

This idea that we are all on some type of timeline needs to end. Women don’t need to have children by 33; men don’t need to have their careers in order by 29. We all are on our own path and have our own milestones to figure out. In each mistake, set back or disappointment is a lesson for us. Never are we simply just a victim in life’s mishaps. With get lesson and personal growth I think we slowly become the person who is the perfect match for our perfect partner.

So when you are asked that dreadful question, “Why are you single?” Know there is a reason. The person asking doesn’t need to know but as long as we are self-aware to know that we all got some work to do, life will take care of the rest.