LIFE LESSONS LEARNED AT A BABY-BACHELORETTE-BRIDAL SHOWER

"In life we often don't know where we are going until the day we arrive" 

This weekend I celebrated the recent life events of a good friend. In just six months she fell in love, became pregnant, got married, changed careers, and is moving to another country. It was only last December when we went on a Beverly Hills hotel bar crawl as we drank away our sorrows over our recent love loss. She met her husband when she was least expecting it. Of course her life has changed dramatically fast, but the one thing that I admire is how calm she is. She carries a beautiful confidence about her present and future that honestly, I have never seen her carry before. It’s a stillness that I usually don’t see in many women even when they have been with their boyfriends/fiancé’s for years. Her elegance regarding her life reminds me how much it is a waste to worry. In December she was just three months from being swept off her feet, worried about when her life was going to change. And just a few months later her life did change - in a way far beyond what she could have even imagined.

It just reminds me how much we really don’t know about our future. Sure we have a list of the things that we want. Goals that we need to accomplish. But more often that list has really nothing to do with we need or really what we deserve. As I looked around the room at the baby-bachlorette-bridal shower I took in where all of my friends were just 5 years ago and where we all are now. 5 years ago we were all with men that we are no longer with or even thinking about. Some of us have changed careers, moved out of the state – all of us are living lives that we really could not have predicted.

My girlfriend’s story reminds me that we really don’t have much to worry about. Especially when it comes to love. Love shows up when it’s suppose to. You can’t force it, dress it up or even hold on it when it’s ready to go. As my father says “when it comes to the matters of the heart, nothing is rational nor predictable”. I often find myself wondering if I will ever find someone. Is my single status permenant? Am I the only lucky person God has chosen to be alone for the rest of my life? And then I think of my friend who just went to her friends wedding- an event that had been marked on the calendar for months unknowing that in that event dedicated to someone else will be the day her life would change.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I do know worrying about it really isn’t going to get me anywhere. Reliving my past and my decisions isn’t really going to get me there any faster either. I do remember being happily in my last relationship and thinking: this is it. This is the moment where all of my past mistakes and failed relationships finally make sense. I remember thinking extremely thankful for my horrible exes because if I didn’t endure them who know if I would be able to recognize the greatness of the man that I was with then. I think my friend has reached a similar moment where all of the confusing and frustrated times of the past finally are given a tangible reason. I look forward to experiencing that moment once again.