I know its 2010 and we are all modern women. We can go wherever we please, have fabulous careers, travel the world and have children on our terms but when it comes to dating, some old fashion rules still apply. Sorry ladies, regardless of how independent we might feel some of them are worth following. As a woman who likes to be in control, I have a hard time with these but as I get older I realize… yes, mom… you were right.
WAIT FOR HIM TO CALL YOU
This rule applies at all stages of a relationship. As much as I want to fight it, it’s just true… men like to be the pursuers. Especially in the beginning. He wants to call you. Sure, we have the ability to make the first call or ask him out on the first date but at some point we have to turn it over and allow him to lead. Call him too soon and his ego is boosted. The worst thing to deal with is a man who’s too sure of himself.
NEVER HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE
We all know the story of a couple that had sex on the first date and are happily in love. But they are the exception, not the rule. As much as we are all adults in control of our sexuality a lot of men easily compartmentalize. A friend of mine was really excited about going out with a girl he had liked for weeks. They had sex the first date and he questioned everything. If its too easy for them in the beginning they assume its easy for others. Sure, it’s not fair but think of how many times having sex on the first date as worked in your favor?
NEVER PUT YOUR EGGS ALL IN ONE BASKET
Regardless of how good the new guy is, it’s always good to keep your options open until you have the “talk”. It saves you from expecting too much and will remind him that they jury is still out. You don’t have to start an online file or searching for someone else. Just continue to hang out with your girlfriends. If another guy asks you out, go out with him. I’m not at all suggesting don’t let a man know how much you like him…just don’t act like your in a relationship before you’re actually in one.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A DRESS
Every woman should have a least a couple signature dresses. Dresses that we know as soon as we put them on heads turn. It’s undeniable. A dress receives completely different energy and attention then great slacks and heels. These days and especially in Los Angeles, we’re in jeans all the time. When you put on a dress it reminds men you are a lady and yes, they are worth getting dressed up for.
Sure, I know some could argue that these don’t apply in 2010 but I beg to differ. As complex and evolved we want to be, some of the basics never change. So, did I just take us back to 1950’s or is there some truth to this?
Enjoyed the post. Wanted to add a few comments for each of your rules:
ReplyDelete1. Wait for me to call: I'm cool with that as long as you don't play games when I do call. Don't make me wait a few days to hear back from you and blame it on being busy. If you're interested, you'll make time to return a call. Don't respond to my call with a text. Texting is for teenagers. Be a woman. And finally, don't give your number out if you don't want to be bothered. When you give us your number, we think you want us to call. If you're not interested, say no thanks. Yeah it could be weird but so what. Let's be adults.
2. Don't have sex on the first date: Agreed. Don't talk about sex and don't be a tease. If a man brings up sex on the first date, its either because you brought it up first or he's a dumb-ass. Either way is no bueno. So don't open the door or walk through the opened door. Last thing, don't start off by giving us that bullshit line about taking 2 or 3 months to figure out whether or not your interested... Like Jay Z said, "we don't believe you, you need more people." Translation: You don't believe that bs and neither do we.
3. Never put your in one basket: Agreed. But don't try to play us. Translation: If I find out your dating 3 or 4 of me, I'm not gonna be into you. If a man likes you only to find out that your juggling several other dudes, he's not gonna want to introduce you to his friends and family. He might introduce you to his friends ala, "this is the chick I'm messing with but she ain't wifey material." Men are territorial and the best way to get us to like you less, is to make us think we're the guy that buys you dinner but never has a chance. How could we have a chance anyway? Your too busy being wined a dined by the LA Lakers bench to find out if we are good dudes or suckas.
I know... you don't want to wait on us and you don't want to turn down dates but maybe you should wait for quality and turn down dudes you're not interested in, in the first place. Do you really need the attention of men your not interested in because your bored? Here's an idea, go out with your friends.
4. The Power of a Dress: AMEN! Jeans and heels are great but a simple elegant dress (not video babe dress), is mad sexy. It reminds men why we like you guys. Don't over do it with $500 shoes and a $2000 bag. Go simple. Stylish chicks (excuse the term ... whatever deal with chicks) make simple look sexy. At the very least, be able to afford what you're wearing. Wearing expensive gifts from previous "relationships" is like a guy borrowing his friends Range Rover. Not a good look.
5. Rule #5: Have a Rule #5.
Aireka: great post. Words of wisdom never go out of style. PS. My response is meant to be humorous but taken seriously. Just sayin'.
Walter - Glad you agree with the dress. Especially in LA - We're stuck on the jeans and heels. My only question, how would you know if my dress is an expensive gift or not?!
ReplyDeleteThis can be a really well thought out post. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Thanks
ReplyDelete