First off, please let me apologize for another Celebrity couple. This week was rough finding a couple to interview so I plan not only to be blogging more frequently next week but will return the celebrate love series with a couple whose life is probably more similar to yours.
HAPPY FRIDAY PEOPLE!
LATANYA RICHARDSON AND SAMUEL JACKSON
If you know anything about Samuel’s history you probably have the same question I have, how did LaTanya deal with all of that? The couple met in college and quickly got married soon after. Both actors, they shared the same love for the arts and the same dream of making it “big”. LaTanya who had been acting a little longer than Samuel had more of a promising career but it was Sam who became the star. It wasn’t until his 30’s that Sam started to get attention by Hollywood and by then he deep in the battle of alcohol and cocaine addiction. In his critically acclaimed role as a crack addict in Jungle Fever, Sam was actually recovering while filming. Sam’s life is a powerful testament to the fact that life aint over til it’s over. After years of being broke, addiction and self-sabotaging multiples chances at success, Sam never gave up. And obviously neither did LaTanya. How did she stay committed to him through those years? Can you imagine, the promising Renaissance man you married, that you shared the same dreams and passions with becomes an addict? Instead of leaving the relationship that many would agree was justified, LaTanya stayed for the hope of something better. This concept blows my mind.
As much as drug addiction could be a deal breaker it seems that was something they were able to recover from. It’s Sam’s successful career that seems to be more of the battle. In a 2006 EBONY article, LaTanya is very vocal about how his stardom is a constant struggle for her. At the time of the interview, they both were working on the film Freedomland. Samuel, receiving top billing, had a bigger trailer then her. He was transported to set when LaTanya had to walk. As they discuss the on set dynamic Samuel explains
“ She’s been acting longer than I have, so she has this thing about why me and not her”.
LaTanya the strong woman that she is, corrects him
,
“ No, the questions is ‘What about me?’ I understand why you, because you’re good. I’m asking what about me as well, in addition to you?
Like Ruby Dee, there was a moment in LaTanya’s life where she chose her husband and daughter over her career. “I cried like a banshee”, she says. “I’ve had to cry a lot. I kept saying, Lord, I was in this before Sam, is this really going to be only about him”?
As a woman who supported her husband through life’s most darkest moments, seeing his career soar ahead of hers had to be far from simple. Especially when many would agree she is the most important factor in his life, attributing to his success.
And then there is that one element of stardom that can ruin any union. Other women.
In the article, LaTanya sends a direct message.
“If you know the person is married, think about it before you go running up on them and touching them. Put yourself in the wife's shoes, and those of us with children--that's their father. We want you to enjoy their art, but that's what they do, not who they are."
Somehow, after drug and alcohol addiction, sacrifice, and possible infidelity, LaTanya and Samuel have made it through. Their relationship is a pure example that marriage does not promise ease.
So many of us are looking towards that moment as the time that our lives finally become easier to deal with. So many of my single girlfriends can’t wait for the day to be married as if life will finally become the fantasy we were all promised. “ Why can’t I have my fairytale? Why don’t I get to be happy?” one of my girlfriends cried on her way home from work. The potential of a man somehow is attached to the promise of happiness and reward. In LaTanya and Samuel’s case she got much more of the opposite before she got any part of a Disney cartoon ending. And that came at the expense of her confidence and belief in her talent.
Possibly, the “easier” points of life might be the ones we have when we are single. When all you have to do is worry about is yourself. When selfishness is expected and forgiven. Add another person with needs, opinions, then throw in a kid of two and there is nothing that equals ease and comfortably in that equation.
One of the lessons that I am learning from these series is being able to understand the institution of marriage as a choice. Truly, we as women have been given a gift to want to be in a union, not have to be. We have to detach the fairytale from what marriage really promises. The union of two lives as one. And that often comes with extra baggage, extra work besides our own own. We have to be more than willing to deal with whatever comes with the vows and flowers. Ready for the life that happens after the vows.
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