They all told me if was going to happen but I didn’t believe them. Three weeks after our “date”, Phantom Man actually had the nerve to email me. Which I’m just going to add to the list of stupid s**t that men do. I don’t get it, didn’t you make it clear you weren’t interested when you disappeared for days? So, why would you reach out to me now?
The interesting thing is Phantom Man’s email was full of excuses, as if he believed I needed some explanation. Work had just gotten “crazy” for him and he tried to reach out to me multiple times but things “just got in the way”. And lastly the the one sentence that jumped from the screen,
“I just want you to know I did have a good time but it feels like the timing stars didn't align”.
Ahh… there it is . TIMING. Don’t you love that word? Men use this word as if it has real true meaning. It might mean something for them but in a woman’s mind, Timing is the moment you meet someone. We could be on our death bed, not expected to live and if a man with what we think is special walks through that door, life has brought us opportunity. We’re not looking for some “perfect time” to meet someone. Meeting someone is the perfect time.
The truth is, “timing” is just another way of saying, “ I just don’t like you” which in this case was made clear when the guy decided to disappear. So I am beyond confused why he decided to email me to just let me know again how much he wasn’t interested. Thank you Phantom Man, I think I really get it now.
Then I saw this VIDEO from Essence of their relationship editor Demetria Lucas on a blind date. It’s pretty much a short version of my dating experience. At the beginning it seems like they both had a good time. Demetria smiles as she retells the date. I know that look, that laugh. She was digging him and looking forward to learning more. But he didn’t call. He uses the fact that they didn’t spend more time with each other as a problem and then he adds the dreaded word “timing” to further explain why a 2nd date was not in order.
is Timing really an issue? Or is it just another way of saying I just didn’t like your ass? Can you meet someone that you really like but then the TIMING IS OFF??
As much as I don’t believe in this concept, I’ve seen timing work on the opposite end. I’ve seen multiple men make the decision that they were ready to be in a serious relationship and then they met the woman. At that point it was definitely all about timing. Had that woman showed up before they made the decoration to settle down she would have jut been another chick trying to lock him down. But he made the decision before meeting her and timing worked in everyone’s favor.
So, I bring it to you guys, Am I just jaded and mean? Could Phantom Man really be telling me the truth? How much is timing a real factor for men? And if so, what makes for “perfect” timing? If one can be bad, when is timing good?
Excuses are for drug addicts and children. Timing schiming, people do what they want to do exactly when they want to do it. If he doesn't call/answer, chances are that it's not because they were too busy saving orphans from a burning building or ended up in a coma somewhere. Nope. Them muthasucka's just found something else to do.
ReplyDeleteOh and another thing about some men that makes me scratch my head that might explain why Phantom man sent the Phantom email...
People generally like to see themselves as good people. Deep down he knew that *ish wasn't cool. Consequently, sending the email was a way of relieving his conscience, which also helps to satisfy the need for him to maintain a consistent positive self image . It's kind of like that argument that some people have that just really amounts to, "I know that was triflin' but it wasn't AS triflin' as it could've been." SMH.
That's a REALLY GOOD POINT! And probably the reason why a lot of people do what they do. We all WANT TO BELIEVE WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE especially when we do shitty things.
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